So I didn't win an emmy

Then again I didn't actually enter the Emmy's.
Although my brief performance of a Male Nurse on a little known New Zealand Soap Opera was likened to David Hasslehoff at a airport, it was about 10 years ago and therefore inelliglble.
I could have entered my stand up performance at a South Auckland pub, but the only laugh i got was from my friends and even then I had to pay them!

Maybe if I need to reach a larger audience.
Does Osama need a new scriptwriter?
He could start one of those videos of the month clubs!
I could write the material, he could front it. Instant ratings winner!
What about a gameshow "Where in the World is Osama?".
Does anyone have an address for him?

Maybe it's too high concept for the intended audience.
I'll just post a you tube video of kicking someone in the nuts instead!

Britney! Britney! Britney!

Forget about a Iraq Exit Strategy!! We need a Britney Spears Exit Strategy.
Can someone help us out with that?
If you didn't catch it, Britney made an appearance at the Video Music Awards, singing "Gimme me More".The world responded with "No thanks. We've had quite enough, thank you!"

It was supposed to be her big comeback appearance.
Please! I've seen better lip syching from Ashlee Simpson!!
Then again, you try to sing and dance after chucking back eight margaritas.

No word on her publicist's excuse for that woeful performance, but I'm sure that "Global Warming" will feature prominently as well as the tried and true "I was tired. I had too many slepping pills. I had jet lag".
Hey! Now there's a thought.
Britney Spears could hook up with John Stamos!
They seem to have a lot in common.